My local female friends and I will be celebrating tonight - we have simultaneous mani/pedi appointments and plans to drink wine. I have also made heart shaped sugar cookies that I plan to distribute to them. Last year, we also did the nail thing, followed by dinner and margaritas at a Mexican restaurant. Aside from the pampering appointments, it looked a lot like an average Friday (or, who are we kidding, Tuesday, or Wednesday) night.
I was inspired to write this post not about the blooming holiday that is Galentine's (although, trust me, pop culture has taken notice. You know something is trendy and here to stay when Target makes decorations and gifts specifically for an occasion. Find evidence of this here.), but actually about a topic that seems to creep back into conversation every few years. That topic is girl-on-girl crime.
Look at me with all these television and movie references! I'm so in tune with pop culture!
When I speak about girl on girl crime, I mean women believing that they need to put someone else's lifestyle, hairstyle, or interests down to make their lifestyle, hairstyle, or interests seem or sound better. We do this all the time. This very casual, everyday comparison: "wow, seriously. I would never dye my hair that color. What is she thinking?" or "I just cant understand why someone would ever pay that much for those shoes. Don't they have better things to spend their money on?" or "I cant believe some women take a vacation and just spend the entire time at the resort. Don't they know there is a whole world to explore out there?"
Or, for instance, this kind of viral social media meme:
The message here is that you're a better woman, or a cooler woman (I mean, just look at that great beanie, comfy flannel, and adorable dog!) if you're into being in the woods and kindling your own flames rather than owning nice shoes or jewelry.
In case you were wondering, I like jewelry and shoes, and I also have a closet full of flannel shirts and hats. I love going to the mall and Las Vegas, getting dressed up for dinners with my girlfriends, and making campfires before I get filthy in the wilderness. No cute dog. Yet.
I want women to stop believing what popular culture tells us, which is that if you're different from me, we cant possibly get along or have anything in common. Apparently, modern society would rather that young women be a divided group than a united force. I would say that I wonder why this is, and it seems pretty subversive to suggest that perhaps it's systematic the way that young women are taught to dislike one another... oh wait.
Building another woman up for her talents, her interests, or her style, even if it is totally different from your own, can cause no harm. Literally, zero harm. So why don't we do it? Are we actually scared of things that are different than us? Are we threatened by other women? Or are we just used to believing that we cant welcome something we don't understand?
Spoiler alert: I don't have the answers.
I have learned, however, in my tender 33 (almost 34, how terrifying) years on this earth that your social life can be infinitely enriched if you appreciate your friends, colleagues, and even acquaintances for their differences. My friends and I are all incredibly different people, yet we come together over our shared interests and learn from each other in areas that we differ. Do we clash on occasion? No, we are absolutely perfect and flawless human beings.
I kid. Of course we do. But it always ends in one or more of us taking a step back and realizing that we all do things differently because we are dynamic, intelligent, and unique human beings.
Unique human beings who all really love a good pedicure. And wine. Cheers to Galentine's Day!
