Always a bridesmaid

The trend is nothing new.  I am in my late 20's, so naturally by now I have attended more weddings than I can count.  However, I have also been a participant in six (soon to be seven) special days.

There are reasons that I am a great choice as a bridesmaid.  I am resourceful. There is a really good chance that at any given time, I will have a knife, safety pins, some kind of string, an extra bottle of booze, or Advil on my person or in my bag.  I am also nearly-always single, so having me in a wedding usually means I won't bring a date and will be able to commit my attentions to the needs of the bride for the entire magical weekend.

However, I am extremely unlikely to have brought along a hair straightener, nail polish remover, extra mascara, bobby pins, hair spray or lipstick.  I once went to a wedding weekend and forgot my strapless bra (which was necessary for the bridesmaid dress, which I would have known if I had bothered to try it on more than once before the ceremony).

When the other members of the bridal party are planning where and how to get their hair done for the big day, I am considering when I will have a chance before the event to get my hair cut really short (so I won't have to waste the time and money getting mine fixed up at the salon). I honestly have done this for every wedding I have ever been in. Advice, ladies- if your hair falls above your shoulders, no one will try to convince you to get an expensive up-do. You're welcome.

One of the most challenging things (for a perpetual tomboy) about being a bridesmaid is trying to look like you belong in whatever outfit has been chosen for you.  I have always felt like I move awkwardly in formal clothes, probably in part because heels aren't my regular footwear, but also because parts of the body are exposed that are not normally on display in a pair of jeans and a tshirt.  What do you mean, everyone will see my underwear if I bust out my favorite disco-style moves on
the dance floor? Oops. My favorite kinds of weddings are the kind where everyone changes into comfy clothes halfway through the reception.

Before I go on, I will stop for a moment and tell you that I really do like weddings. It truly is an honor to be included in the most important day of your friend's life. And there is always, always enough alcohol at the reception to make anyone forget that their shoes are uncomfortable.

The other challenge about being a lady in a wedding is the realization that, for about an hour or 2 before (and sometimes after) the ceremony, life gets really gendered and unfair.  Hold on, are you telling me that the groomsmen are really all standing around the hotel bar in their suits, downing beers and mixed drinks, catching the Sox game and snacking on cheese platters while we are confined to a tiny room, poking the last of the now-drooping baby's breath into the bride's bouquet while an over-zealous photographer snaps photos of us zipping her dress and helping her put on her shoes?

I want to be a groomsman.

And of course, the dresses.  I am not knocking bridesmaid styles or formal wear in general, it's just not for me.  My closet consists of tshirts, jeans, flannel shirts, and hoodies.  I dread any event where I am required to look "business casual" or "semi formal", because while I have plenty of clothes designed for hiking, working, riding my bike or running errands, I have almost zero things in my closet that will work for, say, a bridal shower, a rehearsal dinner, or a bachelorette night out.
However, if I ever have to chaperone a prom, I should be all set by now, because true formal, well, the weddings have taken care of that.  (And no, I will not be posting photos of myself in a bridesmaids dress, as I seem to be having trouble uploading them).

Finally, the most amusing part about being in weddings is the response that people give to someone like me when I get all gussied-up in a dress and heels.  "You look so great!" and "oh, how pretty!" or my personal favorite, "wow! You look like such a girl!" Fascinating, since I am a girl. Such a wonder that changing nearly nothing about my appearance (as mentioned above, I never have my hair done for weddings and go with very minimal makeup and nails) besides stepping into a dress and some nice shoes will transform me into something people consider feminine.

If I ever get married, I am going to have my bridesmaids in blue jeans and Red Sox jerseys.

The Good-Time Charlie Girl

When I was about nine years old, my then-stepmother warned me about always hanging around with boys. My two best friends at the time were a pair of brilliant, hilarious, creative males, and the three of us spent a lot of time together.  We could be seen plotting the next edition of our weekly magazine during recess, and were regular fixtures at each others homes for sleepovers and evenings after school.

"If all of your friends are boys, you're going to get a reputation as the Good-Time Charlie Girl."

At nine years old, I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about.

As best I can determine (in my terribly extensive ten minutes of Google research), the "Good-Time Charlie Girl" term is a combination of the designation "Good-Time Charlie" (used to describe a man who is social, outgoing and always the life of the party) and a reference to characters such as the star in the 1965 play "Charlie Girl", about a tomboy who's mother is trying to marry her off to a millionaire aristocrat, despite Charlie (Charlotte)'s attempts to dodge the engagement.

Sounds right.

After being issued this warning several times over the next few years, I finally got curious and asked my stepmother what it meant to be a Good-Time Charlie Girl.  She explained that it was "a girl who is always hanging out and being one of the boys, but then ends up always being available to have sex with all of them." I was probably about thirteen by now and completely horrified by her suggestion that, by having male friends, I would inevitably grow up to be the town whore. (In case you haven't figured it out by now, my then-stepmother was not exactly the smartest, understanding or most qualified person to be parenting teenagers. More on that in a later post. Maybe.)

The best part about these exchanges with my stepmother is that, at age nine, I looked like this:

Twenty years later, I will admit I don't look much different (although I don't always make this face in photos today).  However, I did not become the town whore (if you want to dispute this, I assure you the comments section of this blog is NOT the place...please), but I did - and still do - accumulate a large store of tales about what it's really like being a childhood tomboy, an independent and free-thinking teenager, a perpetual tshirt-wearing straight woman (with short hair), and one of the vast minority (females) in my chosen profession. 

So welcome to my blog about what it's really like as the Good-Time Charlie Girl.